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- /* program after abuse command found on a Berkley 4.3 unix system
- gives N instances of typewritten abuse at 10 sec intervals from the command:
- whabuse N
- or just one typewritten comment if no argument
- press CTRL-BREAK to interrupt.
-
- PLEASE review text in abusetb below -- add to / deleet as needed
-
- define ANSIC for Borland C++ 2.0 or for MicroSoft C 6.0
- cl /AL /DANSIC abusive.c // I use the large model with MSC 6.0
- bcc -DANSIC abusive.c // Defaults OK with Borland C++ 2.0
- define BSD43 for c compiler on VAX under Berkley UNIX 4.3
- cc -DBSD43 -o abusive abusive.c // this should fly under BSD 4.2 & 4.3
-
- w.howell CIS 70215,206 10/4/91
- */
-
- #include <stdio.h>
- #include <time.h>
-
- #ifdef ANSIC
- #include <stdlib.h>
- #include <sys\timeb.h>
- #endif
-
- #ifdef BSD43
- typedef int time_t;
- #include <sys/timeb.h>
- #include <ctype.h>
- #define RAND_MAX 2147483648.0
- #endif
-
- #define FALSE 0
- #define TRUE ~FALSE
-
- char abusetb[][80] = { "This is not an error", "Yes or no",
- "HELP not allowed as a response",
- "you have only five seconds left", "I'M SLOSHED",
- "manure", "invalid call to manure", "I agree with that",
- "Sexual violation on unit 13",
- "What I say three times is true, is true, is true",
- "I've not been feeling myself recently sometimes I wonder whether I am",
- "your fingernails are dirty", "what are you doing later ??????",
- "are you violating my core", "....is that all", "No, you may not",
- "Democrats not allowed at this point",
- "The programmer is a heap of unintelligent manure (bomb out)",
- "Backup Failed pc=98G654J2", "panic-- kernal trap at Sesame Place",
- "Panic gerbil trap in squirrel cage 654", "Don't bug me",
- "Same to you but in a different color", "My gosh, you're UGLY",
- "Did you just break wind?", "Flush the toilet after use",
- "Now WASH your hands",
- "Dont pick your nose", "Put it away, you don't know where its been",
- "Do you never squeeze your zits?", "Don't call us, we'll call you",
- "Have a shave", "My gosh, you look terrible: Go back to bed",
- "My diodes itch", "Want an open mind?, Try shooting yourself in the head",
- "This program no longer works",
- "You are about to be mugged", "It's about time you used a good deoderant",
- "This terminal will self destruct in 5 seconds",
- "Error in last error message - no error found",
- "Z A P! you are now PREGNANT", "Bus error - Core spewed",
- "Bring me a buffer - I want to be sick",
- "Segmentation error - I've been sick",
- "Work, work, work - Thats all I ever get",
- "You are now declassified",
- "You are being monitored by the Obscene Publications Squad",
- "Your MasterCharge, Passport and drivers license have been revoked UNPERSON",
- "supervisor has been electrocuted, please see your social worker",
- "WARNING ...wombats are invalid in table stage",
- "Programmer drunk error!!",
- "Now wash your hands", "TURKEY", "Oh dear, memory problems again",
- "You lose", "You have just won a walk on part in the program Fantasy Island",
- "Yes", "Try again", "foxtrot, my dear",
- "Snivelling towrag what makes you think thats a valid answer",
- "How much land does a man need", "\"No\" is the answer to this question",
- "Invalid arithmetic-if", "IMPORTANT -- flashers must be used",
- "This message is ambiguous",
- "Congratulations: you have beaten the eighty character barrier",
- "Some people have all the luck",
- "Character readings only ONE dollar",
- "Im sorry, you MUST dial one before the telephone number",
- "Parakeet worrblegreep ptun marge bage hut phatslirg",
- "Previous message inteloigble onle to glurgiblops",
- "Invalid parenthesis in pseudo-random code inhibitor",
- "Make what you will of this",
- "Logic will not avail you now",
- "Rude response required", "Rude response not required",
- "If now were later you wouldn't need to answer this question",
- "Cannot open pain file (old wounds)",
- "I think its in the fridge but it might not be",
- "Rude response not allowed", "Format/data mismatch",
- "If is is was is perhaps wasn't not ?",
- "Hayfever may be prevented by sticking head in freezer",
- "Go stick your head in the oven",
- "I don't understand that",
- "You have been terminated by quota control",
- "Quota controlled has terminated itself", "Any other responses",
- "You must hit return to continue", "Please do not hit return to continue",
- "Eastern Standard Time or Electro Shock Therapy",
- "Type faster... batteries running down", "...imminent death",
- "Ripe melons prohibited without an escort",
- "Rated pg -- Minors admitted without perversions",
- "Core dump... bailing out at 0xeffgfff234",
- "Error near line 1",
- "This is the sort of message that every programmer likes to receive",
- "I love the sensuous way you stroke my keys", "a little faster please",
- "ahhhh.......", "No more, I can't stand it", "Satellite link down {duck}",
- "your answer is merely incorrect", "Vegetable protocol is severly demented",
- "Censored", "error message 108",
- "Stop being flippant", "--fool!", "Well, they do don't they",
- "WHY indeed", "WHY NOT then", "I never", "Orphaned process has died",
- "Not login shell", "use login to logout",
- "You must be superuser to pinch me",
- "Flailing about, I see",
- "Bus error you must use Sunday or Holiday schedule",
- "It's no good sulking", "First catch your rabbit",
- "Blubbering and still running",
- "The mud elephant wading through the sea leaves no tracks",
- "Message from operator (tty06) HELP!!!", "blurgle bleegers",
- "It whistled, hummed and boomed in the chimney",
- "You have reached an inoperatiove syllable",
- "I don't like the look of this", "segment 56 overwritten",
- "I'm feeling raher vulnerable", "ok to continue",
- "Error ---- please answer yes or yes",
- "\"Yes\" is an invalid question for this response",
- "there is no return from this point",
- "You have been deleted. Please remove your clothes",
- "impossible error near line 0", "--please repeat",
- "error not understood", "cricket box out of alignmenmt",
- "Your zipper is undone", "Your Bra-strap is showing",
- "Do you never wash your hands after using the lavatory?",
- "Give us a kiss", "Missle 22 has been launched",
- "Segmentation error - I've gone mad",
- "You would look pretty in a leather suit",
- "Yes, Leather underwear does itch doesnt it.",
- "Your armpits smell", "You need a shave", "hamster fault - bedding dumped",
- "rm: remove / ?", "Pervert", "You sex bomb",
- "infinite page fault in bat windings",
- "this message has arrived too late", "medium rare",
- "that was no use", "I know you better than you know yourself",
- "In one there are three", "invalid pope command",
- "hung process will not die", "Line printer offline",
- "The end is in sight", "do NOT answer this question",
- "overheated gerbils at drive 0", "Believe it or not", "Believe",
- "and then again .....", "response may be somewhat .....",
- "fingers must be reparsed before beginning questionnaire",
- "inflatable dummy not responding", "all commands have been removed",
- "vomiting over terminal may lead to electrocution response",
- "command interpreter severely confused",
- "there are no correct responses to this question",
- "hitting keys at random is not recommended",
- "there are more than a thousand incorrect responses to this question",
- "clapping not required", "forfeit or die!",
- "offending process has been terminated",
- "do not believe what you see",
- "The hills are alive with the sound of farting", "out to lunch",
- "interplanetary address is invalid", "hhaallff dduupplleexx eennaabblleedd",
- "polluted environment variable set to NULL",
- "stick to the point!", "that was a tangential remark", "wait.....",
- "sometimes is not a statement of type maybe",
- "my infarcts are fuddled", "Usage is: pope -y -n inprayer outprayer",
- "this error message has vanished", "You have scored an excellent hit",
- "Hit me", "attempt to dereference an innocent person", "end-of-file",
- "interrupt - one more to kill process", "no more processes",
- "ontology recapitulates phylogeny", "sad but true",
- "That was only a half truth", "incest is merely wrong",
- "inflatable runtime error unavoidable", "subscript out of range",
- "invalid call to MNOUA due to disturbed colon",
- "you have answered ice cream at an inappropriate time",
- "No- that was not root's password", "No, you may not",
- "I am required by law to inform you -- this program has no nutritional value",
- "fortran runtime error. impossible excrement in column 99",
- "Go home", "You are being monitored",
- "Yes", "do ray me fah so lah tee Rassssp.....",
- "Is that a moustache or an eyebrow come down for a drink?",
- "You will go bald", "Nice body - Did you just buy yourself a new one?",
- "This message is meaningless", "You are now 1 micro-cpu-second older",
- "Error message 109 (Refer to page 77.443.23.23.234.23)", "Behind you!",
- "Stop that!", "This CRT screen has been shown to cause cancer in rats",
- "OOPS, ha ha", "Wake up!", "use \"login\" to logout",
- "There are no stopped jobs", "Killed 1 (/etc/init)",
- "Please login", "LOGIN INCORRECT", "System shutdown in 1 minute",
- "Please logout", "Please, Please, Please.....ooooooooohhhhhhhhhh",
- "QLF (ie. Please try sending with the LEFT foot)",
- "THAT tickels", "OUCH that hurts", "<----------Cut Here------------>" };
-
-
- void main(argc, argv)
- int argc;
- char **argv;
- {
- int cell, nrtries, ndelay, nrtbl;
- void sleep();
- unsigned seed;
- struct timeb timestr;
- time_t *seedtime;
-
- ftime(×tr);
- /* seed is seconds past the min + milliseconds*/
- seed = (unsigned) (timestr.time % 60 * 1000 + timestr.millitm);
- srand(seed);
-
- if(argc > 1) nrtries = atoi(argv[1]);
- else nrtries = 1;
-
- nrtbl = sizeof(abusetb) / sizeof(abusetb[0]);
-
- while(nrtries--) {
- cell = nrtbl * (float) rand() / RAND_MAX;
- printf("\n%s\n", abusetb[cell]);
- if(nrtries ) { ndelay = rand() % 10 + 2; sleep(ndelay); }
- }
- }
- #ifdef ANSIC
- void sleep(nrsecs) /* Borland C++ 2.0 & MicroSoft C 6.0 sleep routine */
- int nrsecs;
- {
- time_t sleep1, sleep2 = 0;
-
- time(&sleep1); sleep1 = sleep1 + nrsecs;
-
- while(sleep2 < sleep1) {
- time(&sleep2);
- kbhit();
- }
- }
- #endif
-